"Old Money"

 "Old Money"...What is it, and Why are These People so Fascinating?

“Old Money.”  We’ve all heard the term, more often than not, from television shows, movies...and we’ve come away with a picture in our head of large, manor-like homes, butlers, a chauffeur, elegant dinner parties, summers on the French Riviera or in the Hamptons, Ivy League schools, and a big Airedale Terrier that accompanies the privileged on outings to hunt quail, or duck...because Old Money doesn’t hunt deer, in the woods; they just don’t.  All of these images could, and sometimes are, very true to point...sometimes.  But this is not the traditional Old Money aesthetic, or way of living...not always, at least.  See a little contradiction, here?  Good.  That means you’re paying attention.  Old Money can just as easily be found living in a more modest but perfectly maintained home in a more modest neighborhood...a GOOD neighborhood, where everyone’s lawn stays mowed, door handles stay polished, and chances are, much of the neighborhood is also quiet, discreet, Old Money.  Old Money likes to stick together...but it’s not because of inflated senses of self-worth, or snobbery.  Like any group of people, it’s preferable to keep with those similar to you, because it’s EASIER; you don’t have to explain your life to anyone, because the others in your circle already understand.  And that makes sense, doesn’t it?  And don’t get me wrong; diversity is wonderful...it’s what most of us try to practice, and prefer, because diversity enriches our lives, on the whole.  But I’m not talking about diversity in that context, here.  Old Money isn’t close-minded; they are guarded...they seek to protect themselves and their families and loved ones from prying eyes, because part of their code of conduct is to live discreetly, quietly, without flaunting who they are, what they do, or what is in their bank account.  Many people think Old Money as snobbish; quite the opposite.  They can be very friendly and open, once they trust someone, and their intentions.  And, I must say, I believe their cautionary style of living is just plain smart.  Like with everything else in their lives, they seek quality over quantity when it comes to their social circles, and companionship.  They seek others who can enrich them, not deplete them.  Think about it.  Very smart, indeed.

Known internally as "OMG's"..."Old Money Guys and Gals"...Old Money lives by these seven core values:  Health, Education, The Work Ethic, Etiquette and Manners, Financial Independence, Family and Marriage, and finally, Privacy.  The truth is, anyone can live the same way Old Money lives; their lifestyle is more about saving, conserving, and preserving, than spending.  I have always found this group of people fascinating...I think part of that is the romance author in me.  It’s much more fun to write about a more glamorous lifestyle than a boring one, I can tell you that.  Personally, I have long felt a connection to OMGs, the quiet way they live, and the frugality they practice, whether it comes to grocery budgets or the car they drive.  So, let’s delve into this world, one core value at a time, and explore a bit.  Just please don’t go sharing all over social media you spent the evening with so-and-so; Old Money wouldn’t like that.

Health.  It’s vitally important to Old Money, and here’s why; there’s a quote that says, “Be kind to your body, for it’s the only place you have to live.”  Old Money believes this.  They practice good health; it’s as simple as that.  They have their yearly physicals, dental checkups, and anything else necessary to ensure they, on the whole, are healthy in body.  They don’t abuse alcohol or drugs; both are expensive gateways to no place good, and from childhood, OMGs are taught to preserve the nest egg of wealth generations have hoarded and grown, so it’s around for the future generations.  So, expensive, dangerous vices are simply not indulged; they’re unhealthy, and expensive.  Old Money does not eat processed foods, and if you see a Mercedes in the drive-thru at McDonalds, you can bet the occupants of that Mercedes are not Old Money.  OMGs eat very simply, and the food is almost always fresh, or at least, perhaps frozen...but it comes to the table in such a way that nutrients have not been stripped in the process.  You won’t find a bunch of canned goods in a OMG pantry.  If at some point, they’re going through a bit of stress and gain a few pounds, they lose it; no arguments or excuses.  They may have a good tailor (all OMGs know one) let out some of their clothes temporarily, until they lose the weight, but they never discard of their wardrobe and but a new one to accommodate their larger size. That keeps them at an unhealthy weight, and causes them to spend unnecessary money.  Why do they insist on being so healthy?  Because life cannot be enjoyed fully, if you’re unhealthy, out of breath, or infirm all the time.  Old Money likes to enjoy life.

Education.  Paramount to the survival of Old Money values is education, for many reasons.  OMGs know their children will one day be in boardrooms with other OMG children, making decisions that affect their families and their nest eggs...so OMGs make sure their children go to the right schools, not only to receive the best possible education, but to put them in the right circles from a young age.  The right prep school will lead them to the right Ivy League university, and a few years later, those Ivy Alums will be in that aforementioned boardroom together.  OMGs do not have families young.  They are taught to graduate university, secure their own identities, and begin a career of their choice first, before thinking about things such as marriage, and children.  And yes, with Old Money, one follows the other...in the proper order.  Another advantage to having their children later is, not only are they financially prepared for it, but they are emotionally mature enough to raise the children properly, with structure and discipline.  It’s only the working classes that does it badly; they get married and have children too young, try to raise them too young, and once the burden, both emotional and financial, of children arrive, the working class suddenly realizes they also have to cram into their lives the balance of a happy relationship, a career, trying to keep up with others they know...and it all becomes a huge, jumbled mess.  Old Money is taught patience, and with that discipline, see to it their paths are forged by them, not life around them.  OMG children are taught just as much outside of the classroom as they are inside of one.  Many OMG parents hire a tutor for their children, to augment a child’s talent or gift in a certain subject.  OMG children are taught a second language, from a young age.  Books are dominant in an OMG home; video games and television is not.  OMG children read a lot, or are read to; family time is commonplace, and during this family time, electronic devices are simply not turned on and used.  Old Money still raises children in much the same way older generations did.  They encourage their children to expand their minds with nourishing things, not brain-wasting “junk food.”  By doing so, children are, by nature, smarter, better-rounded, and able to carry a conversation with others, because they are taught and encouraged to converse around the dinner table...the table devoid of cell phones and electronic devices.  Again, these are VERY simple practices, but seem to be lacking greatly in today’s society.  It’s a shame, because when you think about it, doesn’t this way of growing up sound so much more appealing, comforting, and attractive?  I think so.

The Work Ethic.  Most Old Money men and women work.  They may not have to, but they do, and there’s reason for it...a few of them.  Firstly, most OMGs live off of dividends and interest generated by the family nest egg; they rarely, if ever, touch the principal.  So, that requires them to work and earn a living, to supplement their income, so they can continue to live as they were raised.  Most are encouraged to pursue a vocation they love, even if it doesn’t pay as well; it’s all about happiness, after all.  Regardless their vocation, OMGs remain humble and continue to live by the values instilled in them.  Having a healthy, salaried income keeps the nest egg intact, and can even increase it, as most OMGs are also taught to invest much more than they spend.  We’ll cover that more, later.

Etiquette and Manners.  Here’s a glaring difference between Old and New Money; Old money may not love what they are eating in the restaurant, but would never think to send it back, or complain; they want value, but are also not willing to raise a fuss over the little things.  New Money will complain, send back the food, and demand something else in return.  They work hard for their money, and want what they paid for.  Technically, neither is more right or wrong than the other; the difference is, OMGs are simply taught a higher level of manners, so they let an incident such as bad service go unspoken or unchallenged.  Manners and etiquette, like the rest of an education, are started young, and children are taught the correct way to behave, right from the beginning.  People are thinking, “OMGs must not have many kids, or have someone else raising them.”  Incorrect on both observations.  Old Money PLANS.  They have children later, they are planned, and at an age when the parents are mature enough to raise them properly, with patience and discipline.  There are those two words, again.  Contrary to how they may be portrayed in television and film, which is never accurate anyway, OMGs are courteous and polite.  They may seem a little aloof (covered that earlier), but it’s out of a need for privacy and to protect their family’s information, not because they’re unfriendly.  Again, it’s not about the money; if you are not an OMG, but genuinely understand, respect, and like their culture and way of living, it’s not uncommon to be brought into the fold, if you’re also stimulating, have something positive to offer others, and have your etiquette and manners in check.  The right behavior will always allow an invitation or an open door.

Financial Independence.  This is one that most working class people, myself included, struggle with; life can be expensive.  If you’re a single digit trying to live on your own, it’s even more expensive; there’s less to go around, by perhaps half.  It causes us to overspend at times, go into debt, and they we’re left wondering how we will ever get out from under it, so we can breathe more easily and become financially independent.  I’ve personally struggled with this for years.  I desperately want to be financially independent.  Then, at the same time, I have to remind myself that few other single people I know are doing quite as well as myself, even though I DO struggle.  The important thing is, I’m doing it, on my own, so I have reached a degree of financial independence...just not to the level or definition I, as an aspiring OMG, would like to be at.  So, I sit back, evaluate my situation, and begin to find ways to make some changes to improve things, over time.  It takes...wait for it...patience, and discipline.  My crux is that I, like many, were not raised like traditional, OMG children; I was not taught the lessons they were, and didn’t begin to learn them or put them into practice until later in life.  So, I have some catching up to do.  In the meantime, I adopt other OMG values that help me, as much as possible, keep from spending, or at least, saving money.  Either way for me, it’s still a win; I’m changing my habits, and learning to live simpler, at the same time.  Old Money guys and gals usually live at home until they are older, affording them the opportunity to save money, build a nest egg of their own, establish themselves in their job, before venturing out.  They hold off on things like marriage, and especially children...sort of covered that already, will cover that some more...because there’s a reason.  The financial habits young OMGs learn and put into practice set the pace for their future.  Again...it’s only the working classes that does it wrong, that gets everything backwards; impulse is taught, rather than restraint.

Family and Marriage.  This is a big one, because it affects every other aspect of one’s life.  Old Money marries later in life, and they marry once.  They choose a partner that “makes sense.”  As a romance novelist, I’m the first one to jump on any kind of romantic merry-go-round.  However, as I’ve grown older, the pragmatist (and perhaps the cynic) in me has been able to take a step back and look at a relationship with more clarity, and certainly with more discerning eyes.  It's not being picky, or stubborn; it’s being smart.  Everyone wants chemistry, and God knows that IS important; who wants to be married to just a friend that is little more than a roommate?  Where is the romantic fun in that?  Likewise, practicality must also be looked at.  Thirty years down the road, do you and your partner still have the same values and goals (or do you believe you will?) that you have now?  Mutual goals and vision is important, because it enables you and your partner to hold one another accountable if one of you slips, and it ensures your success down the road.  Old Money doesn’t date someone if they can’t see themselves married to them.  They introduce the person to friends and family; if they find something amiss, or see red flags, they quietly make it known.  After all, love can skew one’s perspective.  People close to you can often see bumps in the road ahead you have not yet seen.  Listen to their words; consider them.  You want to make your own decision, but should respect the input of others who have no biased view of your love interest.  OMG guys and gals pick a partner who is understanding of, and willing to take things slowly.  A three year engagement is very common; it gives both parties time to learn about one another, see how they each handle life’s hurdles, and establish a solid foundation.  And here’s a huge one...birth control is practiced, without question.  Nothing can throw a relationship, and a couples’ future off course faster, or worse, than an unplanned pregnancy too early in life, or a relationship.  OMGs plan for starting a family.  It’s just the way it's done, and since OMGs are raised with these beliefs and values, it’s not restrictive, or cold; it’s simply the way things are done.  Old Money does not start off life together with someone, with huge investments, either...unless it’s a trust fund for children yet unborn.  Yes, they think that far ahead.  OMGs do not spend thousands on engagement rings to impress friends or family, and they certainly do not spend five figures one a wedding ceremony that no one will remember a year later.  Old Money is baffled by these ritualistic behaviors of the working classes, and sees them as a total waste of money.  It’s not to say that OMGs skimp on the affair; they just do it differently, because they plan things further out, and consider less costly, yet still lovely, romantic alternatives.  The working classes have two extremes when it comes to weddings; something lavish everyone knows they mortgaged for, or folding chairs, balloons, and paper streamers.  One is foolish, the other, just ghastly.  The same goes for honeymoons.  If the family, and the new OMG couple can afford it, they will splurge a little; if not, they will not break the bank, or drain their nest egg, to do it. 

Privacy.  This one encompasses a LOT, from how much exposure Old Money allows themselves to the world, or rather, the other way around, to the kind of clothes they wear, or cars they drive.  There’s a saying, “Money shouts, wealth whispers.”  Think about that, and then think about what kind of people with money “shout.”  Probably celebrities who did not grow up with money, and suddenly feel they need to flaunt it, either for their own egos, or because the world expects them to.  Here’s a little known secret; big, expensive name brands like Gucci actually PAY celebrities to peddle their wares, giving them free merchandise so they can be seen wearing or sporting those flashy logos.  Why?  Because Gucci knows the working classes look up to these people, and want to feel like they have what so-and-so has...so the working classes go into debt, buying that Gucci bag, or belt.  OMGs don’t pay any of those people or labels, any mind.  They aren’t about to use their own good name to peddle someone else’s brand and logo.  Old Money people are discreet; again, it’s about quality over quantity.  They DO spend money on clothes, but it’s for established brands of high quality fabrics and styles that will last for years.  They don’t dress in a trendy way.  Again, too indiscreet.  They look unassuming, conservative, and elegant.  Think timeless.  OMGs dress in a low-key way because they have no desire or need to call attention to their name, bank account, or any privilege they may have.  Yet somehow, Old Money is always better dressed than just about anyone else.  Those conservative cuts and neutral color palettes work, and they work for a reason.  Think about it.  OMGs seldom pay retail for most things.  Their homes are furnished with things passed down through generations, including furnishings, art, and jewelry.  A young OMG couple starting out may frequent estate sales to fill their apartment.  Not only can they obtain some bargains for only dollars, but they are also purchasing something older that was made better, and may hold it’s value.  OMGs don’t buy new furniture; they buy old, and reupholster, if necessary.  Twenty years later, if it needs it, they reupholster it again.  Waste not, want not.  Automobiles are another thing OMGs will not spend a huge amount of money on; they know a car depreciates as soon as it leaves the lot.  So, they buy a quality used car with plenty of mileage left on it, and they maintain it.  OMG children often inherit their parent’s cars.  They drive Mercedes Benz, BMW, Volvo, or Saab...gently used ones; again, it’s more about the quality, not the badge.  OMGs just know that nothing from Japan or, God forbid, Korea, will ever appreciate in value one day, or stand up to the test of time as well, so why invest the money in that?  And we won’t even talk about electric vehicles.  An electric vehicle will never have, or retain any kind of value, ever.  They are literally made to be disposable, despite their exorbitant sticker prices.  OMGs won’t have any of that nonsense.  Old Money will usually not purchase a home right away, either.  They may rent until they have a sizable enough down payment (because OMGs have been taught how to do that), or if they do mortgage a home, it will be something that keeps them within their means, even if it’s a smaller home in a more modest neighborhood...but it will be lovely and well kept, you can be sure.  Old Money takes care of things.  They live outside of the disposable, throw-away society of today. 

So, are Old Money guys and gals horrible, or down-to-earth?  Silly and stodgy, or genius?  I suppose it depends on how you view the way they live, and what your own priorities are.  The main thing I learned, in educating myself about OMGs, is that, despite the fact they have money tucked away somewhere, you almost forget it, based on the way they live.  And I think there’s an important lesson to be learned in that.  In a world that just becomes more complicated and stressful, perhaps simple, really IS best?  And what are these people lacking, really?  Maybe some junk-tech gadgetry?  Debt, from trying to always have the latest, greatest, shiniest thing?  Not much else.  To be honest, their lives, to me, are very attractive, the values they are taught to live by, sensible and even preferable.  I can’t relive my own past, but I can, and have already begun adopting many of these core values.  There’s a permanence, as well as a sense of peace, that comes with these values and traditions that I believe is worth celebrating.  So if someone asks you, “Why does Jason drive that old car, and have that old tube TV in the house?,” just smile and tell them, “Meh...he’s just an OMG-in-training.”  Because, we all have to start, somewhere.